Family Matters Law Group P.A.
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Should you get a divorce?

When people contact me about the possibility of getting divorced often times they have been residing in such a difficult situation for so long that they see divorce as a ray of light. Many people almost idealize the idea of divorce and look forward to being out of the relationship. Others have decided they want a divorce but haven't spent much time thinking about what that really means.

What many people have failed to do is look closely at the details of life after divorce and the reality of the divorce process. It may seem strange but often times, my initial conversations with prospective client are about whether they really want to be divorced; meaning to live a divorced life? If the answer is yes, the next question is are you prepared to go through the divorce process?

What does life look like after divorce? Every person will have a different answer, but there are some commonalities. For example, it is very likely that you will not see your children every day. It is also likely that you will not spend every holiday with your children. You may or may not be able to maintain family traditions in the same way you have previously. You likely will have to live more frugally than you did before, maybe not in the same house or even the same neighborhood. You may have to give a portion of your salary to your spouse even after the divorce. You likely will still have to continue to deal with your spouse moving forward, at least if you have children. On the other hand, you may have a more peaceful life. You might make yourself available for the kind of relationship you have longed for. You could have more control over your financial life than before.

The point here is not for me to tell you what your life will look like, it is to urge you to ask yourself the questions. I also encourage you to discuss, preferably with a family law attorney, the possibilities of what life might look like; from the positive to the depressing. Realistically take a look at what lies ahead and then decide if the choice to divorce is right for you in your relationship at this time.

Once you are certain that divorce is the right choice, you must get clear on what the process of divorce is going to look like. Every divorce is different - there is no typical divorce. However, all divorced are difficult. Even the most uncomplicated, amicable divorce is difficult. It is difficult to end a relationship. It is difficult to have to take the final legal steps and face that finality. The process is much like a roller coaster, with twist and turns and things you can expect and predict and things that catch you off guard. My best advice is to find someone you trust to help you through it and keep your focus on the thing that really matter to you. I often say, what are the top 3 most important things to you in coming through this? Whatever those are keep you focus on them and be as flexible as possible about the rest.

If you are considering a divorce your first call should be to a competent family law attorney who can help you work through some of these questions. My office offers free consultations. www.SolarisLegal.com

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Family Matters Law Group P.A.
6950 Cypress Rd.
Suite #107
Plantation, FL 33317

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